ALBERS: A breakup letter from Alberta

Western Standard Guest Columnist James Albers,
a Calgary-based management consultant specializing in leadership development.

Dear Canada,

It grieves us — though not unduly — to write what must now be said: this relationship, such as it ever was, is over. Done. Toast. You may keep the Laurentian furniture; we’ll be taking the pickup, the pipeline plans, and whatever’s left of our dignity.

And before you interrupt with the old chestnut about “working through our differences,” let’s be frank for once: it’s not us, it’s definitely you.

You’ve changed, Canada. And not for the better. Once upon a time, you were rugged, free-thinking, strong-backed and iron-willed. The kind of place that built railroads through granite and said “thank you” while doing it.

Now? You fawn over global bureaucrats, swoon for central planning, and can’t get through a press conference without checking your social licence. Honestly, it’s like dating someone who only shops at Whole Foods and thinks a tax is a hug.

We used to share things — values, purpose, even the odd beer. Now, it’s just you endlessly going on about carbon emissions and how we really ought to stop making money from the ground we stand on.

Let’s not pretend this hasn’t been brewing. For years, we pleaded for a little fairness — equalization that was, well, equal. Pipelines that moved oil instead of paperwork. A seat at the table that wasn’t just next to the kid’s menu. And what did you give us? More taxes. More regulation. More scolding. And let’s not even start on Bill C‑69. Honestly, that was less legislation and more restraining order.

We’ve been the adult in this relationship for far too long — working the rigs, running the cattle, growing the wheat, and cutting the cheques. And you? You spent it all on windmills that don’t spin and bureaucrats who do.

Remember when we asked for a pipeline to the East Coast so we could help fund our mutual retirement? You turned us down flat, said it lacked “social acceptance.” But you still had the gall to ask for another transfer payment. That’s not partnership — that’s economic gaslighting.

And spare us the emergencies. Every week it's a new catastrophe: climate crises, social inequities, manufactured panics and hand-wringing over whatever the CBC deems existential that morning. We’ve seen more faux emergencies than a soap opera marathon and more elbows up than a “chicken dance” at a country wedding. And still, you come back — hat in hand — asking for cash.

No more. The Bank of Alberta is closed. We’ve seen the statements. We’ve done the math. It doesn’t add up, and neither do you.

We’ve grown apart. You believe in big government. We believe in big sky. You like rules. We like freedom. You want Ottawa to decide everything from soup to sovereignty. We want Ottawa to just decide to leave us alone.

This isn’t bitterness, it’s clarity. Some of your kids — British Columbia’s (the northern part at least) backbone, Saskatchewan’s strength — well, they still think like we do. They’re welcome to come with us. This isn’t a divorce as much as a declaration of independence.

You can keep your crony capitalism, your carbon taxes, your equalization guilt trips, and your culture of bureaucratic penance. We wish you well.

But we’re off to live a life of liberty, prosperity, and actual adult responsibility. Don’t wait up.

Sincerely,

Alberta

P.S. You can keep the snow shovel — we’re better at handling winters anyway.